#1 MOOD

"And the despair filled him again. Now he knew why. Now he knew what he hated so much. He had no control over his own life. They ran everything."

"The next day he passed Alai in the corridor, and they greeted each other, touched hands, talked, but they both knew that there was a wall now... The most terrible thing, though, was the fear that the wall could never be breached."

"Ender grabbed Mazer's uniform and hung onto it, pulling him down so they were face to face. 'I didn't want to kill them all. I didn't want to kill anybody! I'm not a killer!' ... He was crying. He was out of control."

"'We have to go. I'm almost happy here.' 'So stay.' 'I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it.'"

Ender's story is one of despair. He did not have a life. He did not have friends. That wall could never be breached. He was desperate. He grabbed Mazer's uniform and hung onto him and shouted into his face. Who he is, was made up by those who manipulated him and used him, all for, a misunderstanding. Ender does not know happiness. He does not have much love in him anymore either. Even his only love, Valentine is not the same sweet sister he used to look up to. Ender is hateful throughout the story. He was transformed into a person who cannot love anyone, because as a commander, that is too risky. He does not know himself very well. Ender's story is painful. Because he has went through so much pain, pain is normal. It is a part of him. Not to feel any pain would be abnormal. Now that is sad. This boy is not even a teenager yet and he has faced so much pain, so many hardships and lies that being happy is scary for him. Crying is a big thing for Ender. Ender never cries. He is not supposed to. However, he was yelling and crying to the point where he had no control over himself when he found out the truth. It pierced through his body. The entire story was a cruel and wounding lie. It was depressing.

I guess that is what a dystopian novel is supposed to be like.